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Beyond Fine
That strange paradox
Did you grow up in a world where silence spoke louder than words?
Did you learn to keep your true feelings hidden? To numb your emotions?
To put up walls because staying guarded was the only way to avoid getting hurt?
Have you ever felt that the walls you built around yourself to protect you, are starting to feel like a prison?
Then you have a lot in common with Eleanor Oliphant — the protagonist in Gail Honeyman’s “Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine”.
This isn’t the first time I’m talking about Eleanor’s story. It’s one of my favorite books and every time I return to it, I find something that resonates differently — depending on where I am in my life.
The book is for those who have felt isolated in a crowded room. It’s for those who convinced themselves that their loneliness, the kind of loneliness that makes you believe it’s easier to stay hidden than to reach out, is the natural state to be.
It’s for everyone who thought they had to go through life alone.
Do they, have to, though? Do you?
Eleanor is a character who has built a fortress around herself, not out of choice, but out of necessity — a way to survive in a world that has been anything but kind to her.
“I have always taken great pride in managing life alone. I’m a sole survivor — I’m Eleanor Oliphant. I don’t need anyone else — there’s no big hole in my life, no missing part of my own particular puzzle.”
I know what that big hole in your life means. It’s the emptiness you can’t quite explain. It’s the feeling of something missing. It’s the quiet desperation for change.
I gotta tell you that there have been times in my life when loneliness served as a safety net that kept me from getting hurt. It was easier to keep people at a distance than to risk being vulnerable. I’ve gone through phases where I convinced myself that I didn’t need anyone else, that I was “fine” on my own.
“If someone asks you how you are, you are meant to…
