#4: They don’t try to turn you into a copy of themselves.

Image for post
Image for post

One of the main questions I often get from people around me when it comes to relationships is,

“How do I know my partner is the one?”

You know that feeling when you meet someone gorgeous, go on a couple of days and you immediately start thinking, “Ok, I think I’ve found my forever person”?

That’s enthusiasm speaking — you can never know if a person matches you completely unless you’ve spent significant time with them, and gotten to know them on a deeper level.

You see, a lot of people think that “the one” is a person who makes your heart beat faster, fills you with adrenaline, and goes on exciting adventures with you. And although these things are important elements of a relationship, many people out there can give them to you. …

These are the warning signs you should watch out for.

Image for post
Image for post

We meet a lot of people throughout our lives. Most of them come and go. Some end up staying by our sides for a really long time.

In between, we also encounter another kind of people: the toxic ones. These are people we come across at one point or another, unaware of their toxic personalities, get close to them, and let them have a huge negative impact on our lives and the way we view human relationships.

Dealing with a toxic person can be difficult and draining, to say the least. …

Inspiring words by an inspiring man.

Image for post
Image for post

Keanu Reeves needs no introduction. This man has built himself a reputation of being one of the most iconic Hollywood actors of all time. But that’s not what makes people all over the world love him.

He undeniably has plenty of talent and his versatile acting abilities are remarkable. What really makes him stand out from the crowd though, however, is his sweet, humble personality. You see, unlike the majority of Hollywood stars, Reeves does not seek attention. He keeps his personal life private — he doesn’t create noise. And he’s one of the most inspiring personalities worldwide.

From growing up without a father in an unstable environment to his longtime girlfriend giving birth to a stillborn baby girl — and later dying in a car crash — Reeves has been no stranger to hardship. …

Your childhood experiences lay the groundwork for your love life

Image for post
Image for post

As an imperfect individual, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in my relationships. And not just the romantic ones — friends and family count too.

Looking back, most of the mistakes I made were a result of either emotional outbursts or unresolved feelings I had. Of course, I couldn’t see it at the time.

But once I started diving into the fascinating world of psychology (now on my way to an MSc in Psychology), one thing became clear: in order to improve my attitude in my relationships, I needed to look back to my problematic childhood.

Because, when it comes to relationships, everything is connected and can be traced back to our childhood. …

A 5-step guide on improving your conversations and disagreeing respectfully

Image for post
Image for post

Whenever people ask me what I studied in college and I tell them “I have a bachelor’s degree in International Relations and International Law,” they make a confused expression because they have no idea what that means.

It is basically a mix of politics, history, and law, but mostly politics. As you can understand, in an environment where politics are constantly discussed, not only tensions can easily arise, but they also usually escalate before you can even blink.

Having spent five years watching other people constantly disagreeing with each other (myself included) in an unhealthy and disrespectful way, I felt the need to come up with some ways to improve my conversations with people with whom I disagreed on any given subject — and make my disagreements productive instead of ugly. …

And how they could help you, too.

Image for post
Image for post

We all have our fair share of goals and ambitions in life — exercising daily, eating more healthy, or working harder. We sit down, make a plan, set a timetable, and vow to stick to our goals, no matter what…and then we give up.

Well. We first get tired and frustrated, and then we give up. Because life gets in the way.

Fatigue, weariness, distraction, and having to cope with the dozens of problems life throws our way not only push us away from our goals and dreams but also create a lot of stress and negativity.

That’s when personal mottos should be brought into play. …

We need to talk about wrong perceptions and straight supremacy.

Image for post
Image for post

A couple of days ago, I went out for a walk with my friend Ellie.

Ellie has had a rough year, and not just because of the pandemic. It all started when she cheated on her first long-term boyfriend and then broke up with him — something that led her into a pit of self-destruction.

She started drinking, doing some light drugs, fell in love with a married man, formed a sexual relationship with him, and, in her attempt to keep him close to her ended up even having a threesome with him and his wife.

At one point, she started telling me how sorry and ashamed she was for all of her past actions and how they did not reflect her true self. It wasn’t like her to cheat. It wasn’t like her to do drugs. It wasn’t like her to fall in love with a married man. …

Never rush to make it official.

Image for post
Image for post

So you’ve met someone, went on a couple of dates with, realized there’s a lot of chemistry and common interests between you, and you’re now thinking whether you should take the next step and make it official.

Entering a new relationship is a big deal that takes some serious thinking, especially if you’re the kind of person who gets easily attached to your partner.

You might feel like you want a relationship with someone but not be 100% sure it is a good idea. …

That will steal your time and fill you with positive emotions

Image for post
Image for post

If you ask anyone who knows me well, they’ll tell you I’m a sucker for swoon-worthy novels, e.g. novels who give me heart eyes and fill me with positive emotions.

2020 was a pretty bad year for me and not only because of the pandemic. Books have always been my escape and throughout the year, I turned to them for comfort more times than I can count.

According to Collins dictionary, “to swoon” means to “be affected by your feelings for someone you love or admire very much”, whereas Cambridge dictionary defines it as “to feel a lot of pleasure, love, etc. …

With the help of psychology.

Image for post
Image for post

Most of us crave the kind of love that’s portrayed in Hollywood movies. You know the one, where two people meet each other, fall instantly in love, and give up their whole former lives to be together.

Except that’s not love. That’s lust.

In real life, it can be difficult to differentiate between lust and love — especially if you don’t have much experience in relationships. For example:

  • Having butterflies in your stomach isn’t (necessarily) a sign of love
  • Your heart beating faster every time you see your partner/they call you/they send you a text isn’t (necessarily) a sign of…


Margaret Pan

Thoughtful writer. I write about personal development, psychology, and relationships. https://linktr.ee/margpan

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store